Just so there is an account of this story on this blog, which we wrote last year:
By Kayla and Hilary
Once upon a time, in the year 2016, a group of hoodlums/cool kids began their weekly gang meeting in their adorable yellow cottage (with blue shutters) in the heart of Provincetown, MA.
At the gang meeting, they discussed what kind of cake they would bake next. Hilary suggested the classic funfetti, which was readily rejected by Kayla’s husband Geoff. Geoff, clad in plaid, played the guitar in the corner for the rest of the meeting, convinced that a panda-shaped cake would have been best. Geoff, retired from Ace of Cakes, had become even more bitter with his fading stardom.
When Yo Gabba Gabba came on television, the gang meeting was immediately truncated in order to absorb the incredible intellect played out in song and dance. They all put on their DJ Lance Rock hats and rocked out in the living room.
Meanwhile, Kayla’s 12 children were biting each other in the basement, which was remedied with her serenading them with a rendition of the acclaimed Yo Gabba Gabba tune “Don’t Bite Your Friends.”
After the show, Meredith arrived late. She just returned from her cruise around the world, and brought back lots of hot Indian men for Hilary to have her way with. Meredith also showed them several blueprints for glass designs inspired by her trips.
When one of the hot Indian men complained of overexerting his back, Meredith gladly massaged him.
Chad, with sophisticated mutton chops, waltzed into the house (that he designed) after a day of supervising the architectural endeavors of local trannies. Souped about his project of a treehouse design for an eco-friendly and gay-friendly manor, Chad brought in his two kids Huckleberry and Shiskabob to play with the domesticated pandas lurking in the bamboo room.
Brady arrived home shortly after Chad, elated by the success of the film project he was currently producing. The film, which starred Kirstin Wiig as all eight main characters, depicted a day in the life of each of Bob Littlefield’s eight personalities. Portsmouth citizens were astounded when they realized that their local hero, Bob, sometimes took part in drag karaoke as an outlet to release his eight different forms of expression. The film brought America closer to the trials of high school principals and the grueling schedule of trannies.
Nate showed up, was awkward, put his aviators on and left.
Kayla snuck out to make a phone call to her husband John (Krasinski) regarding the biting habits of their child Livingston, one of 6 children, who was spending the day with his grandparents in Martha’s Vineyard. She then phoned John (Cusack) to see how her and her lover’s 67 cats were faring.
Bear Grylls made a quick appearance by swinging in on a vine readily located outside the kitchen window. He taught the gang how to monkey crawl out of quicksand, because it was his favorite thing to do.
Kayla and Bear retreated to the bamboo room, as the pandas had left earlier.
Nate came back because he forgot to say “That’s what she said.” He said it, and left.
Kayla’s child with Drake Bell, Ferris, came into the room and promptly sauced everyone in the room in German, French, and English. Meredith commended him for his fine skill in the art of saucing. Meredith’s hubby, John Butler, proceeded to entertain the gang with a round of songs about love and peace and the ocean in Meredith’s eyes. Kayla joined in with some harmonies.
Mark Firehammer poked his head in the kitchen window and played a guitar solo, then invited everyone down to Sam’s, relocated in Provincetown, for pizza and music!
Jim Gaffigan met them there with some cake. Geoff was pissed at its lack of creative decoration. Nate cheered him up with a drum solo and then ran out to check on the bed and breakfast he ran downtown.
After a long night of singing and dancing, everyone returned home for a Lady Gaga dance party. Kayla didn’t know whether to be souped or disturbed, so she snuck out to meet up with a more than friendly friend from France.
Hilary serenaded them all with accordion until the sun came up and they all dozed off into the late afternoon.
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